Bad day? Try out the 90/10 Principle

Discover the 90/10 Principle 

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which messes up our whole schedule. A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction.

Don’t let people fool you; you can control how you react.

Let’s use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse.

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

 After a 15-minute delay and getting a $60 traffic fine, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, your spouse and daughter are still upset with you.

Why?  Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A: Did the coffee cause it?
B: Did your daughter cause it?
C: Did the policeman cause it?
D: Did you cause it?

The answer is? D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It's ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended differently.

Why?

Because of how you reacted.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

Who cares if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.

Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to complicate your schedule for the day. Why take out our frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It can change your life!!!


When did you last have a bad day? What went wrong?

How did you react? Could you have reacted differently?

What do you think of the 90/10 principle?

Listen to the song in the post - Have you had a bad day? 

Comments

José said…
Hi Graham,



Well done Graham. You have chosen a good article. It’s nice and philosophical. I agree with it. 90 % of life is depended on us and is decided by how we react. The example about harshly reaction of the father with his daughter who knocks the cup of coffee is great. Everyone has had similar events with the same results. There are horrible acts like what happened in Madrid several years ago when a journalist and a taxi driver crashed in traffic. Then, they lost their temper and began to argue, they cursed, at the end, the journalist went to his car, picked up a gun, shot at taxi driver and killed him. A lot of crimes began in this way. But, without coming to crime, we are fool sometimes, because we begin with misunderstanding and after we finishing with a serious argument.



We should avoid getting worse and worse and we should think 5 seconds before reacting to anything that may cause us bad temper, because it skyrockets undeserved reactions. I agree that millions of people suffer from stress, trials, heartache and problems at their work. There are a lot of meeting points to get on with people. There is no reason for looking for disagreement among people and especially with family.



See you
Graham said…
Hi José,

The example that is given to demonstrate the 90/10 principle is too simplistic. Would you be able to keep calm if confronted by a prison warden? I doubt it.



... 90 % of life depends on us and is decided by how we react. The example about the harsh reaction of the father with his daughter who knocks over the cup of coffee is great. Everyone has experienced similar events with the same results.

There are horrible acts like what happened in Madrid several years ago when a journalist and a taxi driver crashed in traffic. Then they lost their temper and began to argue. They cursed/swore at each other. In the end the journalist went to his car, picked up a gun, shot and killed the taxi driver. A lot of crimes begin this way. But without leading to a crime, we are foolish sometimes, because we begin with a misunderstanding and end up with a serious argument.

We should avoid things getting worse and worse and we should think 5 seconds before reacting to anything that may make us bad-tempered, because unfortunate reactions skyrocket. I agree that millions of people suffer from stress, trials, heartache and problems at their work. There are a lot of meeting points to get on with people. There is no reason to look for disagreement among people and especially with family.