Men and Women differences

MONEY

A man will pay €2 for a €1 item he wants.

A woman will pay €1 for a €2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a hotel towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for €32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

FINAL THOUGHT

Any married man should forget his mistakes. *There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Spotlight on Vocabulary:

"There's no use in two people remembering the same thing."

• There is no use in waiting. ( = there is no point in ...) He's more than an hour late; I doubt he's going to appear now.


• *What's the use in worrying? You can't do anything about what has already happened.


• I don't see the point in going to this meeting tomorrow. I'm not going to learn anything new.


• There's no point in running. We've missed the train that leaves at six.

Idiom:

There is no use in crying over spilt milk. = said to emphasise that it is not useful feeling sorry about something that has already happened

What else would you add to the list of differences between men and women? Do you have any stories to demonstrate these differences?