Kick Kids and Parents Off Flights

Source: Steven Coffey en Unsplash

I'm not very lucky when it comes to flying. Just about everything has happened to me.

I have lost my ticket in the airport (remember the days when you needed a ticket at check-in?), I've left my passport on board planes, I once forgot to take my passport with me, I've missed countless connecting flights (and as a consequence spent sleepless nights at airports or had to fork out for a hotel), my luggage has gone missing several times and so on and so forth.


This time around there were no delays even though Storm Barbara arrived the day I flew to Scotland. It was a bumpy flight.


The problem was on my return journey.

Unfortunately, you can't choose who you sit beside.

I had an aisle seat for the first leg. I watched other passengers find their seats and wondered who would be sitting next to me. It turned out to be a mother and her young daughter.

I didn't worry too much. I have sat next to children who have behaved well.


I found it strange that the mother took the window seat.

I smiled politely and helped the little girl put on the seat belt.

"What do you say to the man?" asked mummy.

"Thank you" replied the little girl.

"You are welcome" I said.


The mother then proceeded to play a word game with the safety instructions.

She read out every detail omitting a word for her daughter to guess.

I thought the conversation would stop once we were up in the air.


Mummy then started to question the girl about all sort of things.

"Do you remember all the places we have visited this Christmas?"

"Who did we see?"

"What was your favourite present?"

"Do you miss Daddy? Do you miss him because you love him?"

And it went on.


I thought if I pretended to sleep, the talking might end.

It didn't.


What is more, the girl curled her legs on the seat and would not sit still. She kicked me (admittedly not deliberately) the whole flight.

When I showed my annoyance, Mummy told her twice "Don't kick the man, darling."


My hopes were raised when the colouring pad and pens were taken out but quickly dashed as the talking continued.

"What colours shall we use for these flowers? Do you like flowers?"

And it went on.


Darling then asked to be read a story.

Mummy was delighted.

We were given a performance of Snow White. I say performance because she read it as if she was rehearsing for a play. Perhaps she expected her audience to give her a round of applause.


I should point out that nothing was whispered. Everything was at a volume so that at least four other rows could hear.

I started to mutter audibly.

Mummy ignored me.

A couple on the other side of the aisle gave me sympathetic looks.


Every time a flight attendant passed, they failed to notice my desperation.


"I've got to say something" I thought to myself. "I can't let this woman get away with this"


At last Darling turned her feet to the seat in front.

Mummy told her not to annoy the people. "You wouldn't like it if the person behind you kicked the back of your seat, would you?"

It was my chance.


"I've had plenty of kicks too" I dared to say.

"She's only four years old" came the reply.

"Next time you should sit your child in the window seat so that she doesn't disturb the other passenger"

"But then she would have started screaming" she answered confidently. "You should have said something earlier."

It sounded as if it was all my fault.


"You should have realised what your daughter was doing" (a dumb thing to say as she knew fine what was happening).  "Other people wouldn't have put up with this behaviour."

A sorry finally passed her lips.

"What's wrong Mummy? asked Darling.

"The man is a bit upset."

I wasn't finished.


"But the worst thing is that we have all had to listen to your voice the whole flight. Why should we endure your story telling?" I complained.

Mummy didn't reply.


"I love you Mummy"

"Mummy loves you too Darling"

She was defiant. My words had no effect.


I couldn't believe it when the young woman sitting in front of me turned round to speak to the girl and said "I think you behaved really well."


Now I had three people to contend with, For the last five minutes of the flight, I heard all about an upcoming tour of the Harry Potter film studios

"Isn't that exciting, darling? Maybe, we can visit the studios when you are a little older"


The thing is this woman probably thinks that she is a wonderful mother. In my opinion, the girl will grow up thinking she can do whatever she wants regardless of anyone else.




I had the window seat on the flight from London to Madrid. "Great," I thought. "I'll take the opportunity to lean my head against the window and get some much needed sleep"

The two people in my row were in their twenties and didn't know each other.

But...

... as soon as the flight had taken off, I felt a bang at the back of my seat.

I thought I must have imagined it.

No such luck.


I heard the voice of a little boy.

I glanced round to see a mother and her teenage son. I didn't see the boy who was directly behind me
.

There were a few more bangs. My patience was wearing thin.


It's not often that I am able to sleep on a plane but I was exhausted.

Just at the point when I was dropping off, there was one almighty kick to my headrest.


"Joder!" I shouted out and startled the guy next to me.


I turned round to give the mother a death stare. No words were needed.

The little brat was made to change seats with his older brother.


One lesson I have hopefully learned from these two episodes is that I must demand to change seats at the first sign of intolerable behaviour from other passengers.


What would you have done if you had been in my shoes?

Have other passengers ever annoyed you?


Have a look through the posts under the flying label and comment on one.


Do you agree with this top ten list of the most annoying plane behaviours?